Slow Growth and Re-posts

Someone pointed out to me that the blog seemed a little… slow this month.

Damn straight.

It wasn’t that February was so crazy–February wasn’t the craziest month of late, not by a long stretch. Instead, it was a time of slow growth. I had nothing earth shattering to say or do. Which is not the same as having nothing to say or do. There were plenty of things to work on (sleep!) and work with (other bloggers, Valentine’s). There were things to end and other things to begin, and is usual with transitions, they were delicate and required privacy.

Growth can be like that. Growth sets its own speed and we may not know what it is until much later. We never truly see ourselves anyway–our perceptions are based on the crudest of information. Nonetheless, there are perks to different tempos. At a slower pace, certain kinds of things become visible. Details. Dishes get washed, thank you letters written, we finally get a mattress, start sleeping through the night. They say God is in the details, and God only knows what new amazement may hinge on the most delicate of minutia.

I’m thinking of meditation. I’ve written about it a lot here. Meditating daily was the very first change that I attempted, exactly a year ago. It wasn’t the logical choice–I was overworked and disorganized and meditation didn’t directly address either of these issues. But it was the change that my heart was crying out for, so there in the middle of that life I sat. Every morning. Twenty minutes without fail. I knew I couldn’t manage any more change than that, and it took courage not to try. I still left cupboards open and grimaced every time I walked past them. I still drank two pots of coffee a day. I still procrastinated on what was important to me. Often, I still do. Yet I notice that despite all this I’m smack dab in the middle of a life completely transformed.

Long before I started this blog I dreamed of making a Book of Shadows for artists. A Book of Shadows is the book a witch writes all her knowledge and potion recipes and spells in, and in reading it, one supposedly inherits all the magic she has learned in her lifetime. Well, art is magic too. I choose to put my Book of Shadows here into blog form so that I can share what I know in context, while I’m still alive, and so that I can continue to refine what I give, even after it’s given.

Still, I’ve had reservations about the format. I don’t want to succumb to the pressure to write things just to fill a quota. Though I promised the world I’d post once a week, I promised myself I’d only write things I was sure of. Things I actually practice in my one body, my one life.

So I’m announcing a small refinement on the format of this blog.

I plan to re-post sometimes. For instance, a while back, I did a post on working with dreams. I’ve learned more on the subject since than and I want to include what I’ve learned. Most of the post would stay the same, but really, this is some juicy detail. God may in fact be in it.

But I love comments. I’m not ready to give them up by deleting the older versions of re-posts. So what I’ll do, for awhile anyway, is leave up the old posts, label updated re-posts “Updates” and mark the new sections “New”. For awhile anyway. All this will probably change later. Which is one of the reasons I love blogging.

Okay, your turn. Tell me about your growth.

What sort of growth are you in right now?

How can you tell?

Do you accept this? Are you willing to be here?

And for anyone following the Restless Zombie series, how did changing what substances you put in your body affect your sleep?